Title: Saving Dividend - Chapter 2
Plot: Mary is still stuck in the bottom of the mineshaft
Notes: She tells us about herself, and leaves a message for her family
Listen to "Saving Dividend - Chapter 2" on Spreaker.
Hey, welcome back!
I will assume that anyone listening to chapter 2 has already heard chapter 1, and so I'll just dive in. But if not, there are two things you should know:
- I'm about to do my best impersonation of a teenage girl named Mary who is trapped at the bottom of what she thinks is a well, but is actually a mine shaft.
- And while this is my best impersonation, I'm not suggesting it's actually good.
So use your imagination and if you'd like to listen to chapter 1 first, make sure you go to the Full Transcripts for this podcast on my website and you'll see all the links you need from there.
Okay, here we go:
What was the last thing I said, again? Oh, yeah! I hope you don’t think less of me! Daddy gets mad at me when I say kajillion. He says it’s not a number. And I say it is.
And he says, “no, it’s not.”
And I say, “yes. it is.”
And he says, “No it’s not…”
And I say, “yes. it is.”
And he says, “Write a hundred kajillion on a piece of paper show me the number!”
He’s so stupid! Just imagine a really big number like one hundred thousand and then times it by like 10. That’s how big a hundred kajillion is! Oh, I’m sorry, daddy. If you get this recording. I’m not judging you because you don’t know what a kajillion is. You’re not as dumb as I’m making it sound. Really, he’s not. Daddy is brilliant! I should remember to edit this out of the recording. I'm gonna do that. Okay.
It’s 7:16 PM now and I can’t see the light at the top of this well anymore. I’ve been thinking… This might be a mine shaft. There’s wood down here. I thought it fell in from the top like I did, but it’s wedged in here like it was built in here.
I’ve been hurt before. It makes you sleepy. But my adrenaline keeps waking me up. And so it's like a battle I want to sleep, but I can't sleep. But I want to sleep and I know I shouldn't. I'm worried my adrenaline will wear off and then I’m going to want to sleep for a really long time. That’s probably how I am going to die. I need to use my adrenaline to get me out of hole before that happens. At least it won’t be hot at the top by now. If I can just climb out. I probably don’t need both legs to climb out, but I can’t hold my right ankle and climb out at the same time. If I slip while I’m climbing I may never be able to align the bones. My ankle muscles have been tense for hours, they’re finally getting exhausted, that might actually help me line these bones up. I keep talking about my injuries. I should tell you who I am. I’m going to try to align my bones while I talk okay? I’ll probably make some noises, I’m not weird, I promise. I just don’t have any time to waste.
My name is Mary Bartholomew. My favorite movie is Gone with the Wind. My favorite actor is Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah, I know Leo wasn’t in Gone with the Wind. I do like Rhet Buttler, don’t get me wrong, but he’s probably dead by now. And if he’s alive he’s probably all wrinkly and brittle. At least if I die down here, I won’t be wrinkly and brittle! I’m probably going to stink though. That’s not my normal smell, I promise! I usually smell really really good. I love lilacs. I usually smell like them or lavender.
My favorite holiday is Christmas. My favorite color is purple. I’m a Catholic who lives in Utah. No one's probably even miss me when I’m gone. They don’t even have a Catholic church here! I barely know my own faith! The only reason I’m a Catholic is because mom is a Catholic. Dad is a Mason. He works for the railroad. I don’t think dad knows his faith either. I’m sure it sounds horrible that I don’t know, but he doesn’t talk about it and it never came up before. I love my dad. But the only churches here are Mormon churches. I’m sure he’d go to church if there was a Mason church here. And then maybe we’d talk about it and then maybe I’d know… It helps to talk to myself. It makes me feel like I’m not alone.
This is so hard! I want to cry. But I need to be strong right now! I’m gonna stop talking for a minute now, okay? I’m not going to turn off the recorder though because it’s still tied up in my hair and I’m ready to line up my bones now. It would be easier if I could see. Maybe it’s better that I can’t. Ou! Ou! sorry, that wasn’t the bone. I just haven’t shaved my legs for a couple… I need to delete that. I’ll rewind this recording and delete that, too. A couple days… I haven’t shaved my legs for a couple days. Just in case I forget to rewind and delete that. I wouldn’t want you to think it’s been weeks or months! I’m not a monkey. Oooh! Not that I grow lots and lots of hair! Oh that was so stupid! I shouldn’t have said that! Now your probably glad Hunter pushed me down this well. Really, I’m a pretty girl who got pushed down a well by her evil boyfriend. You know what? I’m just going to fix this right now so I don’t forget. It would be horrifying if anyone ever listened to that part of the recording. Whew! Thank goodness that I remembered to delete that!
Ou! Ou! Oh, no! I can’t believe this! It happened again! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! My left foot slipped out from under me, again! Now my right ankle is at a forty-five degree angle, or is that 90? I don't know, I didn’t pay attention in Algebra. I was too busy trying to get Hunter’s attention. What a mistake that was! What a waste of time, too! I should’ve taken a class on how to climb out of a mine shaft after your boyfriend decides he doesn’t want to marry you and pushes you down one.
Have you ever looked at your right leg and saw your ankle sticking out at a 90 degree angle? No, of course you haven’t! Because stuff like that only happens to me! It’s horrifying! It’s traumatizing! But it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. I think I’m in shock. I hope I'm not in shock! My mom would tell me to lie down and elevate my feet above my head. But I can’t do that! I’m in a foot of water at the bottom of a well. There’s not enough room to lie down, and there’s barely enough room to sit down. She would be so mad at me right now. This water isn’t sterile! This is awful! I will never be able to wear high heels again! I just spent one-hundred dollars on a brand new pair! But I might be okay! As long as I get out of this mine shaft in a week I should still have time to return them!
I think I figured out why my left leg keeps slipping out from under me. I thought I was standing on the rocks at the bottom of this well. Oh, it’s not a well, it’s a mine shaft. But I wasn’t standing on rocks, I was standing on wood. It’s really slippery. I think there’s an opening in the bottom. I’m sorry, this is really hard to explain. I think I’m sitting on a platform. That's what I should say. I'm sitting on a platform and I think I might be able to squeeze down the opening and swim somewhere. That might be easier than climbing up, but it might not lead anywhere and I can’t bring my phone. It’s not waterproof. I’m trying to decide if I should risk it.
It’s 7:45 now. I don’t think I can swim down this hole until after I set my leg. I don’t have a choice I need to do this! I’m probably loosing blood. I’m getting colder, but it’s also getting darker now that the sun is going down. And I don’t see much blood, but I keep putting my leg in this dirty water. I need to set it, tie it, and get this done!
Oh, finally some good news! I think having my ankle on this angle is actually going to make it easier to set the bone! I’m sliding my ankle bone down to the end of my leg bone. And now all I have to do is use my leg bone like a lever and push my ankle bone into place. One, two, three! Ou! Ou! Oh, this hurts! I got it! I got it! Yay! I got it! Oh my gosh, thank you, God! Thank you so so much! Thank you thank you thank you God! I can’t believe I did that! Wow! My heart was pounding! I can feel it still beating against my chest.
I guess the jagged break was a good thing. My ankle snapped into place! I need to be careful with it, but I think I can... I think I can put pressure on it now. I wrapped my blouse around my leg and tied it off for support and to stop the bleeding. Mom would be so proud of me! So now the fifty-thousand dollar question. Up or down? Up. I gotta to try it! Down just seems desperate.
It’s 7:54. I’ve tried going up three times now. It’s not gonna happen. The walls are too slick especially here at the bottom, near the water. I guess that means I'm gonna have to go down.
I can wedge myself down this opening, but I’m worried I might get down there and there will be no way out! I’m worried I might get stuck! It’s dark in this mineshaft now. I don’t know if I can wait for the sun to come up tomorrow. I might not last that long. I need to try! I’ll just go down and have a look around and come right back up. I need to try!
It’s 8:01 now. I stopped the recording to think and pray for a while. It can’t get any darker down here anyway. What message do you leave... What message do you leave the world when you are about to die? There are some things I need to say before I do this:
Look, mom, dad, if I don’t make it, I don’t want you to be sad. I’m sorry this happened. I know it was my fault. I shouldn’t have let Hunter get me pregnant. I thought we were in love. I can’t believe he pushed me down this mine shaft! I know why he did it, too! It’s because he’s Mormon and we aren’t married. He got his girlfriend pregnant and that gets you excommunicated. Instead of admit to it, he decided to kill me so he didn’t look bad. Oh, I’m sorry. That sounds bitter… Mom, dad, I love you! I should have listened to you better. You told me to stay away from bad boys and I didn’t listen. I mean I thought he was cool though. He was popular in school. I never imagined… Anyway, I’m sorry. I'm sorry. This is my fault! This is not your fault. I know how you like to take responsibility for the way you raised us, but you raised us better than this and I went off on my own way.
Billy, you are my brother and you suck. I mean it, you’re a jerk! You need to listen to mom and dad! If you don’t, you’ll end up like me. And if you ever push your girlfriend down a well for getting her pregnant I’ll kill you! Or I’ll haunt you! I’m sorry I should say something nice: you have nice teeth! You know I love you.
I had so many ideas about what I would do with the rest of my life. I was going to be a photographer or a fashion designer or maybe an interior decorator. But now I think I... now I think I would have been a school teacher, or a nurse. Someone who helps people. Yeah, if I get out of this hell hole I’m going to pick a career that helps people. Even if it’s just a stay at home mom who loves her kids.
Oh, this is so hard! I have so many people I want to say goodbye to and my battery is draining! I guess I should make some kind of will to give all of my stuff away.
Mom, dad, I know you don’t like Mr. Snuggles because of the whole thing with the Tuna. But he’s really a good cat. I know you told me never to feed him Tuna again, but he’s okay if you only give him a quarter can of it, I swear! I’ve been sneaking it to him everyday for a year now. He’s fine. But if you don’t want him, I understand. Just don’t let Jill have him! And keep him away from Billy! But Sally would make a great cat mom! Whatever you do, don’t let the people who own the Chinese restaurant have him! I don’t like the way they look at him.
God, I’m nineteen. I really only wanted to live another ten years, anyway. If there is any way you could arrange that I would die very happy!
Oh my gosh, it’s already 8:30! I can’t believe how fast time is passing! It takes like a year for Christmas to roll around, but fall into a mine shaft and time flies! I need to wrap this recording up! Look, if you’re my friend you know who you are because I’m not fake or superficial. If I smile at you, you’re my friend. If I talk about you behind your back, you’re not. It’s that simple!
Oh, I left something really important out: I’m an Aries.
And here endeth chapter 2. I hope you don't think less of me. I did my best. As always, thank you for listening, have a brilliant week. And y'all come back now! Ya hear?